


The Instinct to Protect

by faithfulpenelope



Series: The Wait is the Hardest Part [2]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 21:28:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6825031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithfulpenelope/pseuds/faithfulpenelope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The planet was supposed to be safe.</p><p>Terrorists kidnap McCoy and Chekov.  Will they be able to overcome the decisions they're forced to make?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I really don't like making people cry, I swear. So, sorry about that.
> 
> Also, Google Translate is my Russian teacher. I hereby formally apologize to anyone out there who actually speaks the language.

The planet was supposed to be safe.

Gamma Tau IV has been welcoming Starfleet vessels for shore level for years without issue, its economy thriving under the influx of Federation credits. So when a terrorist sect protesting the exploitation of the world's natural resources for the enjoyment of off-worlders starts to make trouble, the government deals with it as quietly as possible. They certainly don't tell Starfleet about it, especially when her flagship hails its tourist bureau with a request to visit. After all, how often do they get to play host to the legendary Enterprise crew.

Unfortunately, the terrorists have the same idea.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jim Kirk is sweating. Heavily.

The bar is packed, as if all 400 members of the Enterprise crew had made their way to the same place, even though you would think that given the option, they'd want to get as far away from each other as possible. But here he is, wedged on the dance floor between Janice Rand and the new xeniobiologist they had picked up from the Roosevelt. The music is some generic techno mix, but the bass is low and the beat steady and Rand and Callahan ( _that was her name, Callahan_ ) more than worthy dance partners, and Kirk feels the weight of command lift for a little while. He scans the crowd, settles quickly on Bones, seated at the bar and deep in conversation with Scotty about who knew what ( _check that, they were discussing liquor, what else would they be talking about_ ), and Kirk smiles because Bones actually looks relaxed, if that was possible. He sees Scotty excuse himself to head towards the bathroom, and then Bones is looking around, and when his eyes catch Jim's he smiles, honest-to-goodness smiles, and Jim beams back.

Beside him, Callahan laughs, and Kirk turns to see Sulu has spun her towards him, Chekov sliding in behind her. The drinking age is 18 here and it had been a solemn ceremony as he proudly presented his ID to get into the bar. "My first time," the ensign says, giving Kirk that wide-eyed look that's meant to convey innocence but Kirk has learned means nothing of the sort.

"Sure," he responds dryly, and shoves him inside.

Chekov says something to Sulu and Callahan, then turns to Kirk. "I can get you a drink?" he shouts over the music. Kirk shakes his head, and Chekov begins the task of weaving his way through the crowd to the bar. He watches as Chekov pops out of the crowd and saddles up next to Bones. Chekov's still wearing his uniform – he had been assigned to the first shift watching the ship, until Ensign Peralta offered to switch with him, and he'd been so excited to get to the surface he'd forgotten to change – and Kirk watches as the bartender seems to focus in on the officer's stripes on Chekov's sleeve.

He doesn't know why, but it gives him a funny feeling in his stomach, and he starts to make his way in their direction.

Then the bartender dips down. When he comes up, he's got a Class VI phaser rifle in his hands.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

What comes next, it's all an adrenaline-hazed blur. The bartender is just the beginning; there's terrorists everywhere, hidden throughout the club. But Jim Kirk's crew isn't considered the best for nothing, and between them and the Tauian security squad that shows up almost immediately, they've got eight terrorists subdued. Four more are dead on the floor.

Kirk radios up to Spock, who's manning the conn, tells him what's happened, before he turns to the Tauian deputy in charge. "Is that all of them?" he demands.

"As far as we know," the deputy hedges, and Kirk glares. "We will find those responsible, Captain, I promise you. And our emergency hospital services are working right now to make sure none of your crew was injured."

"I'll let our CMO take care of that," Kirk spits back, then realizes he has no idea where Bones is. He grabs Chapel as she hurries by. "Where's Bones?"

"I don't know," Chapel says, and Kirk realizes she looks worried. "He should be yelling for us all by now."

She's right; Bones should be in action already, organizing his staff and triaging the situation, and the fact that he's not means something is seriously wrong. He fumbles open his communicator. "Kirk to McCoy. McCoy, pick up. Bones!"

There's silence on the other end, and Kirk's heart takes a tumble into his stomach.

"Captain!"

The voice isn't McCoy's but Hendorff's. The security chief cuts through the crowd. "McCoy's communicator was on the floor behind the bar, along with another." He holds out the two communicators at Kirk, who looks at him numbly for a minute before snatching them out of his hands. The first is McCoy's, he can tell from the crack on the front. He flips open the second and accesses the user information.

 _User Name: P. Chekov (Ensign)_ , the screen flashes.

Fuck, Kirk thinks, his mind racing. "Chekov's uniform," he says out loud. "They saw he was an officer and grabbed him."

"We also found this," Hendorff says. In his palm is a ring.

It's McCoy's ring.


	2. Chapter 2

McCoy opens his eyes slowly, and looks up into the dark _._

_Where the hell am I._

He takes a deep breath, does a mental check for injuries. He's got a pounding headache – a side effect from whatever they used to knock him out, he figures – and a sore shoulder, but doesn't find any other problems. He lifts himself up on one elbow, then the other, and when the dizziness subsides, he looks around. It's dark, but he can see he's in a cell, an old one, with real metal bars instead of the clear forcefields of the Enterprise brig.

He's also alone. But when they'd grabbed him, they'd also grabbed –

"Chekov?" he calls. "Ensign, you there?"

There's a pained groan and McCoy realizes there's another cell across the way. He tentatively walks up to the bars, listening for the buzz of electricity, but there's none, and he rests a hand down on the cold metal. "Chekov, talk to me. You okay?"

"Yes, Doctor. Just a headache." There's a shuffle and then he can make out Chekov's gold shirt in the dark as he comes closer to his own bars. "You?"

"The same," McCoy says. "Any idea what the hell's going on?"

" _Nyet_ , Doctor. I remember the bartender grabbing me, then I think a transporter? I cannot remember."

McCoy's memories are hazy too, but he remembers that, remembers going after them. "They must have grabbed me when I tried to stop them." He looks down at his hand, realizes for the first time that his ring is gone. "My ring. I dropped it on the bar so Jim would know that we weren't just hurt somewhere, that someone had grabbed us." It suddenly occurs to him that he doesn't know if Jim is hurt, if any of the crew is hurt, and his frown deepens.

Then the door bangs open. McCoy tries not to flinch. Chekov can't help it.

There's three of them, decked out in green fatigues, clubs at their waists and phasers strapped to their hips. The tallest one steps forward, arms crossed across his chest.

"You have been brought here because your presence on our planet is a violation of Tauian sovereignty," he states, and McCoy gets the immediate impression this isn't the first time he's given this speech. "Our government has been seduced by the promise of Federation credits, but we have not. We will not stop until the last of the foreign intruders has been removed from our soil."

"We have permission to be here," McCoy argues. "If you have a problem with that, take it up with your government, but leave us out of it."

The guard smiles, slow and calculating. "On the contrary, we intend to force you into the center of it," he says. "Two crew members of the USS Enterprise, one of them an officer, at that." He glances over his shoulder at Chekov, and McCoy realizes he's not in uniform, and for all they know, he's the cook. "You should prove fine bargaining material when we bring our demands to our government."

"We've done nothing wrong," Chekov protests.

"You have done wrong by coming here," the guard retorts, coming closer to the bars. His hand goes to the club at his hip. "And you will suffer for your transgressions."

"Hey," McCoy yells, at the same time one of the other guards says sharply, "Captain Talis."

It catches them both by surprise, and they watch as Talis and the other guard hold a staring match for what seems like minutes. Then Talis scoffs, drops his hand, and steps away from the bars.

"You are lucky my colleagues think you are worth more unharmed," he sneers. "But maybe one day they will not be here to protect you."

Chekov doesn't wilt, just holds his stare until Talis steps away. The door slams shut behind them.

"Well, shit," McCoy says finally. "Look like we've found ourselves in the middle of a bit of an insurrection."

"Indeed," Chekov agrees. "But it seems the likelihood of torture has decreased significantly. This is good, yes?"

McCoy snorts. "Way to see the bright side, kid," he says, and Chekov shrugs.

"I like to know what I am dealing with, Doc -" He stops himself, glances towards the door. If they don't know McCoy's a doctor, he's not going to be the one to reveal it.

"Leonard, kid."

"Leonard," Chekov repeats, as if he's meeting McCoy for the first time. "And Pavel."

"Pavel," McCoy agrees.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When faced with Kirk's barely contained fury, the truth finally comes out: that this has happened before. The Tauians hurry to reassure him that it takes some time but they've always bartered the hostages free, unharmed, which is a relief but also puts a pit in Kirk's stomach, because these people are stupid enough to pay off terrorists and think the situation is going to improve. He's thus far resisted the urge to just take over and do it all himself; Gamma Tau V is a Federation planet, and Federation law dictates his jurisdiction is secondary to the home government. Kirk thinks it's bullshit but has honored it, if only because he worries storming in full-bore might scare the terrorists into hurting Bones and Chekov.

He briefs the senior staff as soon as they're back on ship. He'd wanted to pull Sulu aside first, let him know about Chekov face-to-face, but there's too much confusion and by the time he finds the pilot it's clear he already knows. Not that Sulu says anything; he's as stoic as ever, although Kirk catches a split-second sigh when he tells them every other hostage has come back unharmed.

Now he's off-shift, pacing his quarters like a caged animal.

It's driving him insane.

Without something to distract him, all his brain can seem to do is think up every way this whole thing could go wrong. It's the worst at night, lying alone with the thought that somewhere down there, Bones could be hurting, or worse.

So he goes to see the only other person who might understand.

He hits the alert, and the doors slide open in response to the soft 'enter' that comes from inside. Sulu looks up from his desk in surprise. "Captain. Come in."

Jim's never been in Sulu's quarters before, and he tries to resist the urge to scope them out as he enters. "Are you busy, Lieutenant?"

Sulu shrugs. "Just trying to catch up on some reading but I've been on the same page for about twenty minutes now, so I'd say no." He takes in Kirk's stiff stance. "You can't stay still either?" Kirk shakes his head.

"I hate doing nothing."

"It sucks," Sulu agrees, then adds a quick, "Captain."

Kirk rolls his eyes. "Hikaru, I'm here because we're both missing our boyfriends. I think you can call me Jim."

Sulu's head snaps up, and there's a long moment of silence.

"I, uh…" Sulu stammers, his face turning a surprising shade of pink. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Jim has to bite back a laugh. "I know you and Pavel are together, Hikaru," he says. "Have for a while."

" _Wait - how_ -" He pauses. "Did _Pavel_ tell you?"

"No," he assures him. "I'm the captain. I just know these things."

Sulu frowns at that. "Who else knows?"

"Just me and Bones, as far as I know."

" _McCoy_ \- how does he - what am I saying, if you know, he knows." Sulu sits down heavily. "How come you never said anything?"

Kirk shrugs. "Why would I? Your work hasn't been affected in any way. You're both adults." His lip twitches a little. "I mean, I'm assuming you waited until he was an adult."

"Yes," Sulu says quickly. "I wasn't about to get transferred – or worse – for bedding my under-aged navigator." He huffs out a laugh. "Jesus. Okay. So you know about us."

"I tried to get to you," Kirk says, and Sulu looks up in surprise again. "Down planet-side. So you didn't hear about Chekov like you did."

"Yeah, McKenna told me," Sulu mutters. "I froze, just stood there like an idiot." He drops his face into his hands. "Fuck, I need a drink. You want?"

"God, yes." Jim sits, watches as Sulu pulls out a bottle of vodka. "Speaking of under-aged navigators, that wouldn't be Ensign Chekov's, would it?"

"Absolutely not," Sulu says with a straight face as he hands Kirk a glass. "Ensign Chekov is not of legal drinking age."

Jim cracks a smile. "That's what I thought." The vodka burns in the best way. "Oh, shit, that's good."

"Only the best for Pavel," Sulu says, and his eyes flicker with emotion, sadness and fear and something else. Kirk sighs.

"They keep telling me they won't be hurt." Jim leans back, stares up at the ceiling. His foot drums against the floor, vibrating with anxious energy. "I wish I could believe them."

"Yeah," Sulu says, and rubs his eyes. He's exhausted but the thought of lying down in a cold, empty bed is too much for him to think about.

"They'll be all right. They're both strong." Kirk shoots for authoritative but misses, lands somewhere near questioning. "Shit, the two of us owed our lives to Chekov before we'd even been introduced."

Sulu makes a small noise in agreement. "Do you want to go run some flight sims?" he asked suddenly. "Or do some sparring?" Anything to keep his mind occupied, to release some of the building tension.

"Hell yes," Kirk agrees emphatically, pushing off the couch before the words are even out. "Let's go."


	3. Chapter 3

It's been six days, the sun and moon visible from the small window against the top of the wall. They're fed twice a day, a thin oatmeal-like gruel and water than isn't the clearest but appears to be free of major contaminants. They hear the guards outside the door sometimes, arguing, but they say nothing to their hostages, just drop their trays and go. As soon as the door shuts, Chekov resumes checking every inch of his cell, instructing McCoy how to do the same, looking for some crack, some flaw to manipulate.

There is none, and somewhere around day four, Chekov stops looking.

It's like they're trying to break them with boredom.

McCoy doesn't like it, but he can deal with it. It's downright painful for Chekov, who seems incapable of turning off either body or mind for any period of time.

So McCoy starts talking.

They have no idea if anyone is listening so they stay away from talking about the Enterprise. Instead, McCoy teaches Chekov advanced field medicine – as best he can, at least, without any supplies – and Chekov starts him on Russian lessons. McCoy's hopeless at it, but they're worth it, because now he know how often the kid's Russian mumblings are swears, which provides him endless amusement.

"Hikaru was shocked when I first told him," Chekov tells him with a grin.

McCoy chuckles. He's sitting on the floor, absently tracing the bones of the Klingon skull in the dust. Chekov is doing jumping jacks, the latest in a never-ending cycle of calisthenics. "Have you taught him Russian?"

Chekov shrugs, looking a little guilty. "A little, but not really. I like it, sometimes, being able to say things out loud I need to express but do not necessary want understood. Does that make me a bad boyfriend?"

"Nah," McCoy says. "Sounds reasonable to me. But I'm a crotchety old bastard who'd sooner shoot himself with a phaser than talk about his feelings."

"You are not so old," Chekov retorts. "And you are not so crotchety, either. I am beginning to realize you are downright nice sometimes.

McCoy grunts. "That's a damn dirty lie, and don't you repeat it. I have a reputation to think of." Chekov resists the urge to laugh, and switches to dips.

"It is interesting," he says absently. "We both have our reputations that we have to uphold with the crew."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you have your _crotchety old bastard_ routine -"

"I told you, it ain't a routine," McCoy interrupts, and Chekov rolls his eyes.

"Yes, yes, of course. And I have my innocent young ingénue role."

That catches McCoy's attention. "Go on."

"All day long, people look at me like they are waiting for me to ask permission to be excused from the dinner table. I navigate us through an asteroid field and people praise me like I've won the spelling bee. There is an engineer on Deck 3 who  _pats_ me on the _head_." He huffs at the memory and switches to lunges. "I know I am young, only an ensign, and have much to learn, but I am also an officer. And yet, I am expected to smile and take it."

"Huh," McCoy says. "Why haven't you said anything to the captain? He would have done something about it."

Chekov gives him a look. "Do not think I don't know that he would call me jailbait before I turned eighteen."

 _I told Jim not to say that_. "Touche."

"It's why we don't say anything about our relationship," Chekov says matter-of-factly, stepping into a deep lunge. "Because I know people will assume I'm being taken advantage of."

That makes the hidden romantic in McCoy a little sad. "You told me," he says.

"Because I needed advice and you are – well, you know. It took me days to work up the nerve to come see you, but I thought, if nothing else, he will be bound be confidentiality to not tell the whole ship."

"I would never tell anyone anything," McCoy says defensively, wonders why he cares. Chekov gives him a small smile.

"I know that. And I am glad now I did come to you. But the Enterprise gossip mill is not so kind."

"You ain't wrong about that, kid – I mean, Pavel." He pauses. "Hey, does this mean I can't call you _kid_ anymore?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It's been six days, and they finally had a break.

The Tauians had found the terrorists' headquarters.

It had been an accidental discovery, a heat-seeking scan that banged upon something cold and metal and not supposed to be there. It was an old jail, the prime minister explained, abandoned long ago on the far outskirts of the city, its technology too outdated to serve its purpose anymore. Kirk's hopes had surged before the prime minister amended that statement.

Its technology _had_ been too outdated. Someone had been busy bringing it up to speed.

An impenetrable metal shell – some compound that the Enterprise's sensors had never seen before – lurked right beneath the roof, making it impossible to know what was going on inside. And that made the Tauians unwilling to make a move, despite Kirk's arguments that he would lead the charge, he would take responsibility, he would do anything they wanted just to get them to act.

It was the politeness in the prime minister's refusal that infuriated him most of all.

Kirk has about given up on his mission update to Starfleet Command – with the mood he's in, anything he writes is going to get him a reprimand – when the door chime beeps.

It's Sulu, just coming off shift. He holds up one of the wooden training swords he's holding. Kirk nods and holds out a hand, catching the sword Sulu lobs his way as he follows him out into the hall to the gym. It's becoming a habit, that whenever one comes off shift he finds the other so they can train, do flight sims, run the decks, anything to work out some of the energy humming right underneath the skin. They're both men of action, Kirk and Sulu, and each understands that if they don't get it out they might do something very, very stupid.

They don't talk much during these sessions, so Sulu is surprised when Kirk deflects an attack and says, "what do you think they talk about down there?"

He stumbles back, but quickly regains his footing and parries Kirk's thrust. "I hadn't really thought about it," he admits.

"It just occurred to me last night," Kirk says. Sulu knows Kirk hasn't been sleeping any better than he has. "Like, what could Bones and Chekov have to talk about?"

"They must have found something, because Pavel is incapable of not talking," Sulu says. "He even talks in his sleep."

"That does not surprise me," Kirk smirks. "Does his brain ever shut off?"

The question makes Sulu stumble again and he swallows hard. He would have said no, except he had asked that same thing of Pavel a few weeks before.

Pavel had smiled, stroked his cheek. Told him the only time his brain stopped going was when Hikaru was touching him, when he was helpless to do anything but feel.

"Sulu?"

He jerks his head up. Kirk's sword is by his side. "You okay? You disappeared for a second there."

"Yeah," he says hoarsely. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Kirk lets it drop, because he knows Sulu's not fine, but he's done the same thing before, been caught unawares by a memory of Bones that shakes him hard. "You want to keep going?"

"Yes," Sulu answers, because if he stops, he'll go insane. Kirk lifts his sword.

"I'm telling you and only you this," Kirk says. His voice is conversational but there's a current of barely-restrained urgency right below the surface. "If they can't get in there in the next few days, we're going down there and getting them back ourselves."

Relief floods Sulu's veins because he's been hoping Kirk would say that from the first minute he'd learned Pavel was gone. "I'm with you," he says immediately, and Kirk nods, and thrusts.

They don't talk again.


	4. Chapter 4

It's eight days now, and the arguing is getting worse.

McCoy and Chekov place themselves in the corners of their cells by the doors, trying to decipher what is being said. They've come to recognizes Talis's voice by now – it's the loudest and the angriest – and that of his most frequent sparring partner, calmer and more rational, the one who stopped him that first day.

"There are three of them today," Chekov says quietly. He's stopped moving for once, and is sitting cross-legged on the floor, his arms hanging through the bars. "I think one of them is new."

"And he sounds like he's on Talis's side," McCoy replies, the unease growing. They've known since the first day that given his chances, Talis would be using far more extreme methods that negotiation to further his cause. He hasn't stopped arguing his case since.

"Leonard."

He looks up. Chekov's voice is low and uncertain and it makes McCoy's stomach knot up even harder. The kid's been getting quieter and quieter and McCoy had chalked it up to boredom but he knows Pavel's getting worn down. Hell, he's having trouble keeping it together himself, and he's got 15 years on the kid. "Pavel, it's gonna be fine," he says.

"Leonard, if I do not make it home - "

"Kid, _don't_."

"If I do not make it home," Chekov continues, as if McCoy hasn't spoken it, "you must promise me something. You must promise you will tell Hikaru –" he swallows hard. "You must tell Hikaru that I love him." He's fighting the tears and McCoy's heart aches in empathy because there's not much he wouldn't do to see Jim right now. "I never told him, Leonard. And now I may not ever get to."

"You're going to get to tell him," McCoy says firmly. "You're going to tell him, and you're going to be very happy and grow old together. Captain Sulu and Commander Chekov, saving the galaxy, one Russian swear word at a time."

That gets a wet laugh out of the younger man. "Who says Hikaru will be the captain," he jokes weakly, and McCoy smirks.

"That's the spirit, Captain Chekov."

"At your service," the ensign says dryly. He sighs. "Thank you, Leonard. I guess I am getting a little..."

"Squirrely? Don't worry about it." McCoy gazes up at the ceiling as if he could see through, right up into the sky, up to the Enterprise. "I know how you feel, trust me."

"I just wish -" Chekov's cut off by a hard slam and the sound of a phaser blast. He scrambles to his feet, hands gripped around the bars, and when McCoy whips around to look he knows he'll see the same hope in his eye, that it's Jim and Sulu and an Enterprise security team come to take them home –

And the door swings open and Talis and his friend step in. Just before the door closes, McCoy sees their defender on the ground, uniform blackened from a point-blank phaser blast.

The hope dies hard and fast.

Talis seems unsurprised to see them both there so close to the door. "I imagine you've been listening to our conversation," the guard says, all casual nonchalance. "I'm sure you've figured out by now that I'm of the opinion we would be much better served by stringing you both up in the public square for all of your Federation to see, to show them what we do to off-worlders who abuse our home world."

"If you hurt us, you will face punishment from the Federation," McCoy says. He tries to keep his voice steady but he's no negotiator; that's Jim's job. He doesn't know what to say, doesn't know how to make it right. "Let us go now and there still may be hope we can help in some way."

Talis laughs. "You are in no place to be making demands," he mocks, and McCoy's cheeks burn with embarrassment. "But lucky for you, my _superiors_ \- " the word comes out in a sneer, "believe you are best left unharmed, so that our corrupt government will continue to negotiate for your release. This left us at an impasse." He pauses. "Until my friend Leitha here came up with another solution."

The other guard – Leitha – steps forward, and McCoy has to hold down a shudder at the deadness in his eyes. He hazards a glance at Chekov but the ensign's gaze is frozen on their guards.

"Our superiors have told us we cannot beat you, and we cannot kill you," Talis says. He smiles that same slow, sick smile, all sharp teeth and malice. One hand snakes out through the bars to stroke a finger down Chekov's flushed right cheek and the ensign jerks back out of reach. "They did not say we could not use you in other ways."

"Do not touch me," Chekov says, his accent thick and strained, his breathing heavy. Talis laughs.

"We will do what we want," he says, and opens the cell door.

An icy fear settles deep in McCoy's bones.

He grabs the bars of his cell, pulls as if he could yank them off himself. "Don't touch him," he commands, but his voice is hollow even to his own ears. "We are officers of Starfleet. You cannot do this."

"Your great Starfleet means nothing in this room." Leitha contradicts, lazy and sure. Talis steps forward into Chekov's cell, and the ensign drops into a defensive position. "All that matter is us, and what pleasure we might derive from the two foreign criminals in our midst."

Chekov spits out something in Russian, something hateful and profane, and when Talis advances he lands a hard kick to the guard's side. Talis staggers, shocked, but the guard is taller by a head and at least 100 pounds heavier and as much as Chekov fights there is nothing to keep him from pining Pavel down, arms twisted painfully behind his back. He cries out, and Leitha grabs his face, covers his mouth with one large palm.

"You can't do this, god damn it, _don't you fucking touch him_ -" McCoy's screaming now, slamming his hands against the bars so hard he hears a crack and feels a sharp pain in his hand but it's for nothing, it's like he's not even there. Chekov's eyes water as he tries to breathe, the guard's hand over his mouth and nose. Leitha moves his hand, slides it down to Chekov's chin, forces his head up so he's looking the guard in his dark eyes.

"You are such a young little thing," he coos, and Chekov yanks his head away in anger, receives a sharp slap across the face in return. "Tell me, are you a virgin?"

"Go fuck yourself," Chekov cries. The guard's eyes narrow.

"I think we will fuck you instead," he says easily, and Chekov recoils with a whimper, his head shaking frantically left and right. "You must be so tight. You will not be so tight when we are done with you."

" _Pozhaluysta_ ," he begs. "Please, no."

" _Wait_."

He doesn't even realize he's said it until they turn to him.

"Wait," McCoy says again. His mouth is racing ahead of his brain and he struggles to catch up. "Listen to me. What do you want with him? He's just a scrawny little thing. Doesn't know what to do with his own dick, let alone someone else's."

The guards look at him, mystified.

His heart pounds in his chest, and there's a part of him that can't believe what he's doing, but it's all he can think of to do, the only way he can hope to help Chekov. "Take me instead. Let me make it worth your while."

Chekov's eyes go wide as he realizes what McCoy intends. "Leonard, no –"

"Shut up, Pavel." McCoy can't listen to him now, can't be fighting him the same time he's trying to save him. "So what do you say? A kid who's gonna pass out at the first lick of pain or a man who knows what he's doing?"

Leitha eyes him suspiciously but McCoy can tell he's considering it. "You are terribly confident in your abilities," he says, sounding amused. "Who's to say you'd live up to your boasting? At least with the boy, we can mold him as we wish. Better a fresh canvas than an old, used one."

McCoy swallows hard, plays his last card. "The captain seems happy enough with my abilities," he says evenly, and watches as his revelation sinks in and the guards grow very, very interested.

"You are the captain's whore?" Talis says with a grin, but the sting of the insult is soothed when his grip on Chekov's arm eases.

"I've been the captain's partner for five years," McCoy retorts. "So I must be doing something right."

The guards exchange a long look, and then Talis slams Chekov to the wall. The ensign's head connects to the brick, hard, and he lets out a sharp shout of pain as he sinks to the floor, his head lolling forward as he struggles to keep conscious. He's whispering in Russian, foggy words McCoy can't make out broken up only by what he recognizes as his own name.

McCoy can't help but think it might be for the best that he doesn't see what's coming.

"This is a very interesting development indeed." The lock on his cell clicks open and the door yawns wide. Leitha gestures widely to his fellow guard. "Come, then. Show us what you are good for."

It's the only thing that could make him hate them more, forcing him to make the first move, and every muscle in his body wants to swing out in anger. But then he hears Chekov's desperate whimper - _nyet, Leonard, pozhaluysta, nyet_ \- and he controls himself. Steps forward and gets down on his knees.

It's all wrong: the taste, the smell, the rough hands yanking at his hair hard enough to tear the strands out. McCoy tries to breathe through it, concentrate on the proper procedure, like he did on his flight sims, the way Jim taught him.

Jim.

He tries not to think about Jim.

When the guard comes, McCoy gags but recovers, follows it through until Talis pulls out with a sharp pat on the cheek. He grabs McCoy's chin, forces his head up, and McCoy tries not to glare, to cover up the hatred threatening to bubble over. "You are quite good," Talis admits with a smirk. "It's about time for us to report for our daily negotiations, but I do think we will enjoy seeing what other services you have to offer." McCoy can't quite cover up the flinch and the guard's grip on his face tightens. "Oh, does that displease you?" he asks. "Because if it does, I'm sure we can just go back to your friend -"

"No," McCoy says emphatically.

"No, what?" Leitha prompts, and McCoy's eyes flick over to the other guard.

"No, sir," he grits out. "It does not displease me."

"Good then," Talis replies, sounding downright merry. He grabs McCoy, hauls him up and shoves him towards his cell. The heavy door locks shut behind him. "We will take our leave of you, then."

The heavy door closes, and it's silent again.

McCoy sags down to the floor.

"You should not have done that."

Chekov's voice is low and unsteady, and suddenly McCoy remembers the injured man. "Your head, how is it? Are you bleeding? Did you lose consciousness?"

"No," Chekov says darkly. The doctor in McCoy is relieved as the man in him burns with embarrassment. "Leonard, you should not have done that."

"What else could I have done?" McCoy argues back. "Because letting them take you was never an option."

"And volunteering yourself was? _Chert voz'mi_ , Leonard, I told you, I am not a child! I will not see you hurt because of me!"

"Well it's a little fucking late for that, now isn't it?" McCoy snaps, because he's too tired and too ashamed and too afraid to deal with Chekov's shit right now. "You know, for a fucking genius, you can pretty fucking stupid sometimes. You think this is just another case of some lieutenant not showing you the proper respect? He was going to bend you over and _rape_ you, Pavel, so you could have the _decency_ to fucking _thank me_ for trying to save your _virgin ass_."

Chekov's face pales even further, if possible, and he opens his mouth to speak.

"On second thought, you can save it, kid," McCoy cuts him off. "I'm done talking about it."


	5. Chapter 5

The private message comes through as Kirk is pulling off his uniform. He's due to meet Sulu in the flight simulator in ten. "Who's it from?" he asks the communications officer on duty as he hurries to his terminal.

"It's coming from the planet, sir," Ensign Granderson says, "but not from through government channels. I believe it may from the terrorists, sir."

From the terrorists. Kirk doesn't know how to react to that; the terrorists have made no attempt to contact anyone besides their government negotiators. "Put it through," he orders, and a second later, the transmission comes up on his screen.

It's a brief video message, from a tall Tauian, dressed in camouflage instead of the government's blue uniform.

 _Captain_ , he says. _I am Talis, commander of the separatist organization currently holding your officers hostage. Our former commander has recently…had a tragic accident._

Kirk scoffs. A phaser misfire, he's sure.

 _As you may know, my predecessor had long relied on negotiations to accomplish his goals. I do not hold his same trust in this philosophy. I believe in a more...forceful approach. That being said, I am not an unreasonable man._ Talis straightens his shoulders. _You will cease all trade with the corrupt currently government of Gamma Tau V immediately and withdraw from our world, and I will return your crew members to you. Otherwise, I will kill them. It is your choice, Captain. You have twenty-four of your hours to decide._ He looks as though he might terminate the message, but then his lip curls up in a smile so self-satisfied it makes Kirk's stomach hurt. _Oh, and there is one more thing, Captain. I've had the pleasure of...experiencing your dear doctor friend. I must commend you on your taste; he does look just so delicious down on his knees like that. So very eager to please._ He licks his lips slowly. _I cannot wait to see what else he cares to offer me. Until then, we await your reply, Captain._

The screen goes dark. Kirk barely notices over the screaming in his head.

_I've had the pleasure of...experiencing your dear doctor friend._

Bones. At the mercy of those men. Being forced to -

Kirk gags, barely makes it to the small kitchenette sink before he's throwing up.

_He does look just so delicious down on his knees like that._

His fingers dig into the edge of the sink so hard the metal bites into his skin. The rage is white hot. The captain is gone now and all that's left is a wronged Jim Kirk.

He isn't sure how he makes it to the simulation bay.

Sulu turns at the sound of the door, takes one look at Kirk, and the PADD in his hand cracks against the floor. "Just say it," he says immediately. "Fuck, just tell me he's dead."

"He's not dead," Kirk says, and Sulu's entire body heaves in relief. "They're not dead. But they - " He feels sick again, can't say it, just shoves his PADD towards Sulu. The lieutenant's face contorts in horror, then anger, as he watches the message.

For a long moment, the only sound is their labored breathing. Then Sulu speaks.

"The Orion shuttle we confiscated from those slave traders," he says. "I can have it ready in 30 minutes."

That gives Kirk enough time to get to the weapons bay. "I'll meet you there."


	6. Chapter 6

It's dark again, but the quiet is new.

McCoy curls up on his mat a little tighter. He didn't used to feel so cold like this.

There's a rustling sound across the room as Chekov tries, and fails, to get comfortable. They haven't spoken since McCoy snapped at him. Since –

McCoy squeezes his eyes shut. Tries to will the memory away. It doesn't work any better than the last fifty times he's tried, especially when every stray noise has him thinking, _this is it, they're coming back_. Coming back to take what they want.

Fuck. He can't think about that. Not if he wants to stay sane. He draws up the blanket a little tighter.

Then the quiet is broken by a shout. McCoy sits up fast, sees the flash of movement as Chekov does the same. There's a fight going on now, and if McCoy didn't know better, he could swear he heard –

Jim slams through the door, Sulu right behind him.

" _Oh, fuck_ ," McCoy gasps in relief, his head falling between his bent knees. " _Jim._ "

"Bones!" The cell door sparks bright as Jim phasers it open and then he's there, next to him, and McCoy feels like he can breathe again. "I got you, I'm here."

"I thought you were -" He swallows the rest of his sentence down. Jim didn't need to know about that, not here, not now. He takes in Jim's black commando gear. " Why aren't you in uniform? Where's the rest of the team?"

"This isn't exactly an authorized mission," Jim admits, and McCoy groans.

"Damn it, Jim what the hell were you thinking -"

"They sent me a direct message," Kirk interrupts. "The terrorists. Threatened to kill you unless we cut off all relations with the Tauian government. And then he said -" His voice breaks off. McCoy looks in his eyes, the bright blue a swirling storm of anger, fear, pity, and he realizes he doesn't have to tell Jim.

He already knows.

His stomach roils in shame and he drops his hands away from Jim's shirt front, pulls away to stand on his own. "Then we better get out of here," he says stiffly.

"Bones." Jim reaches for him but he steps away out of reach. "Bones, _stop_."

"We don't have time for a discussion, Jim. We need to be gone before back-up arrives."

Across the room, Sulu drops to his knees in front of Chekov. The younger man sobs quietly and buries his face in Sulu's shoulder. Sulu doesn't want to ask, but he has to know, can't stand the uncertainty. "Pavel," he whispers. "Pavel, did they – did they touch you?"

Chekov sobs again and Sulu's heart seizes in his chest, but then he feels Pavel's soft hair against his neck as he shakes his head no. "Pavel, you don't have to hide it from me -"

"I am not." Chekov lifts his head and Sulu can see in his eyes that he's telling the truth. "They almost did but Leonard…" He shakes his head again, presses his cheek back against Sulu's neck.

"Okay. It's okay, I've got you," Sulu soothes him. "Come on. Let's get home."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They reach the shuttle without incident. Sulu takes the conn as Kirk hails the Tauian government and informs them they have retrieved their kidnapped crew members and if the government knew what was good for them, they would thank him for it. Then he hails Spock.

The channel is barely open before Spock is spitting regulations in what Kirk has come to recognize as Vulcan fury.

"Spock, listen –"

" – for the captain to leave the ship on an unauthorized away mission without coordinating with his first officer is not only against a _host_ of regulations but also _highly_ illogical – "

"Spock!" Kirk yells, and the comm line goes quiet. "Spock, you're right. I'm sorry. And I promise I will explain. But for now, can you please set aside the lecture and hold down the fort for a little while longer?"

There's a barely-there huff before Spock says, "understood, Captain" and the line terminates.

In the back of the shuttle, McCoy sits Chekov in front of him and pulls out his kit. He's silent as he runs the regen over the laceration on his scalp and takes his readings again. Chekov sits still and waits for him to finish, speaking only when McCoy clicks off the regen and sets it back in its case.

"Thank you, Doctor," he says quietly. McCoy regards him for a long moment.

"We'll need to take blood to make sure we haven't been exposed to anything," he says in response. Chekov just nods.

There's a brief moment of mayhem when the four arrive in the Medbay, but McCoy's staff is nothing if not professional and they quickly have McCoy and Chekov on biobeds for full exams. Kirk and Sulu hover nearby as McCoy tells M'Benga about Chekov's head injury and gives quiet instructions for a full-spectrum blood work-up. M'Benga nods.

"Any other injuries or issues I should know about?" he asks. Kirk watches McCoy meet Chekov's eyes for a brief second before McCoy shakes his head no.

"No, sir," Chekov echoes. M'Benga's got a look on his face like he thinks that bullshit but he doesn't press, just steps out to run his tests.

"Bones -"

"Don't, Jim."

"Damn it, Bones, you're going to have to talk to me sooner or later."

McCoy turns to him with a steady glare. "I'll put it in my report, _Captain_ ," he spits out, and Kirk actually takes a shocked step back, his face blanched white.

"Leonard, do not do this."

They're all surprised when Chekov speaks, even Sulu, who lays a tentative hand on Chekov's thigh, as if to say, _I don't know if you want to get in the middle of this_. "Do not punish yourself or the captain because of what happened -"

"Keep out of it, kid," McCoy warns, but Chekov ignores it.

"- not when it was my fault." Chekov's voice is laced with guilt and shame, and he flinches away from Sulu tries to grab his hand. He shoves off the biobed, starts to pace. "If it were not for me –"

"Pavel, it wasn't your fault," Kirk says. "You had no reason to believe wearing your uniform would lead to this."

"I'm not talking about my uniform. I am not talking about them grabbing us because I an officer or because he was at the bar."

"Damn it, kid, shut up," McCoy demands. Chekov glares back at McCoy, unbowed.

"You think you are the only one that gets to feel guilty?" he yells. "When it's my fault you had to get down on your knees -"

Kirk barely grabs McCoy's arm as he launches off the biobed towards the ensign. "Shut your _fucking mouth_ ," McCoy hollers as he and Kirk hit the wall with a hard thump.

"Dr. McCoy, calm yourself," Jim says loudly, in full captain voice, and whether it's the title or Jim's tone, he doesn't know, but McCoy stops struggling so much, drags in a deep breath. "We need to talk about this," Jim says, eyeing McCoy first, then Chekov, who has pulled away from Sulu, his arms wrapped around his chest. "But we are not going to do it here. Not in front of the entire Medbay."


	7. Chapter 7

They end up in the CMO's quarters, because they're closest to the Medbay, and because they're sterile, impersonal. All of McCoy's things are in the captain's quarters across the deck.

McCoy stalks in first, throws himself in the armchair, and fixes a thousand-year glare into deep space in a clear display of _you can all rot in hell for all I care_. The other three remain standing, standing respectful distances apart, although it's clear Sulu is itching to come closer to Chekov.

"All right," Kirk says. "I need to know what happened. _All of it_."

Chekov looks to McCoy expectantly. McCoy steadfastly refuses to meet his eye but spits out, "you were so eager to tell them back there, so go on, damn it."

" _O, radi trakhayet_ – fine." He turns to Sulu and Kirk. "They grabbed me from the bar because I was wearing my officer's stripes. When the doctor tried to intervene, they grabbed him too. They stuck us in jail cells, old ones, with metal bars, and they left us there. Told us they were leaving us alone because they were using us as bargaining chips with their government. But one of the guards, he did not think such a passive approach was appropriate."

"Talis," Kirk says immediately, and both Chekov and McCoy flinch against the name.

"Yes," Chekov says. "He made it clear if it were not for his superior we would be hung in the town square, but he did not dare to act. Not until another guard showed up, one who agreed with his…sentiments. They killed their commanding officer so that he would not interfere and then they…" His voice cracks the slightest bit and Sulu can't help but to step towards him. Chekov steps away, holds up a hand. "They told us they wouldn't beat us but would…use us in other ways."

"Fuck," Sulu breathes, he can't help it. Kirk's face remains impassive but his hands are flexing at his sides, clenching into fists then releasing.

"They grabbed me." Chekov's voice is small and soft. "Told me they were going to – that they were going to hold me down and…" He squeezes his eyes shut and lets out a shuttering breath.

"They were going to rape you," Kirk says softly, so Chekov doesn't have to.

The ensign nods, doesn't pull away when Sulu grabs him and pulls him tight against him, maybe because he knows if he doesn't, Sulu will put his hand through the bulkhead. He allows Sulu to hold him for a few moments before he pulls back. "A few weeks ago, I went to Dr. McCoy," he tells him, and Sulu's eyes narrow in confusion. "I was scared, I didn't know what I was doing, so I told him about us, asked him for advice. I told him you and I had not…been together that way. That I not ever been with someone that way."

Sulu stammers out a confused response, but something sparks in Kirk's brain, and suddenly it makes sense. He kneels before McCoy and grabs his face, forces him to look at him.

"You volunteered yourself," he breathes. "To get them away from Pavel."

McCoy squeezes his eyes shut, tries to jerk his face away, but Kirk holds him firm, wraps his other hand around the base of his neck. "No, don't pull away. That's why you won't talk to me, why you won't even look at me. You saw what was about to happen and you volunteered yourself in Pavel's place. That's what happened, isn't it?" When McCoy refuses to answer, he looks to Chekov. "Isn't it?"

Chekov nods from within Sulu's embrace. "He told them he would do what they wanted if they left me alone," he says, voice thick with tears. "I tried to stop him, but he wouldn't listen. They made him…"

"They didn't _make me_ do anything."

McCoy's voice is thick and low.

"Bones -"

"You said it yourself, Jim. I _volunteered_. They opened up my cell and instead of fighting it, I got down on my knees in front of Talis and _sucked him off_." He gives a short laugh, and it's filled with bitterness. "They don't really put that in the Starfleet training manual, now do they?"

"Jesus, Bones," Jim groans, because it's overwhelming, how much he hurts for Bones, how furious he is that someone's hurt him like this. "No. No. You are not going to do this. Because you know what is in the Starfleet training manual? That _any_ form of unwanted sexual treatment is rape, regardless of the circumstances. Just because you offered yourself to keep Pavel safe doesn't make that any less true."

"You would have fought," Bones protests. "You would have fought your way out, instead of giving in to them."

Kirk's first instinct is to deny it, to promise he would have done exactly as Bones had done, but he couldn't know that was the truth, and Bones had been through too much for Jim to start lying to him now. "I don't know what would have happened if it was me, except that I would have done anything to protect my friend. And that's what you did, Bones." He gives in, pulls McCoy into his arms, feels a sweep of relief as McCoy crumples in close. "You protected Chekov and brought him home safe. You got yourself home safe."

"I didn't want you to know." McCoy's voice is barely a whisper against his neck. "I didn't want you to think I was a coward. That I took the easy route." He lets out a short sob. "I didn't want you to think I'd betrayed you."

" _Bones_." It comes out a moan but Jim doesn't care, just cards his hand through McCoy's thick hair and pulls him closer. "Bones. I could never think that, not in a million years. I don't care what you tell me, you are not a coward. The easy route would have been to say nothing, but you couldn't do that, could you? You aren't capable to standing by and seeing someone hurt. It's part of your very being, and it's one of the reasons I love you." He feels McCoy tremble and he strokes his hair softly. "You're the bravest man I've ever known, Bones. What you did on that planet only makes me believe that more."

The sob cracks out of Bones like a dam breaking, and Jim is helpless to do anything but hold him tight, whisper in his ear _I love you_ and _you are so brave_ and _I won't ever let you go_ as Bones shakes in his arms. He's vaguely conscious of Sulu grabbing Chekov's hand and the doors sliding shut behind them, and then it's just him and Bones. It's horribly uncomfortable, curled up on the floor between the armchair and the coffee table, but Jim isn't about to move, not as long as Bones needs him to hold him there.

He doesn't know how long they're there before the shaking eases and then finally stops and Bones looks up at him, face stained with wet tears. "Every noise I heard," he whispers. "I thought it was them, coming back to take more, and I was so scared because I didn't know if I could go through with it. The thought of anyone but you touching me like that…" He shakes his head, tucks his face into Jim's shoulder. Jim presses a kiss to his forehead, clutches his arm a little harder. "I was so afraid I would crumble and they would hurt Chekov and it would have all been for nothing."

Jim's heart aches in his chest. He feels impotent against Bones's pain. "It's okay," he promises, because what else could he say. "It's okay. You're home now. I've got you."

"Fuck, Jim." Bones rubs his eyes with a shuddery sigh. "I am so fucking tired."

"Then let's get you to bed." He helps McCoy disrobe and pull on an old pair of sleeping pants. "Sleep, Bones. I'll be here when you wake up."


	8. Chapter 8

The walk back to their quarters is silent.

Sulu keys them in. Chekov steps through the threshold hesitantly, and Sulu doesn't know if Chekov can't believe he's there, or doesn't think he's allowed to be there. He aches to reach out and grab Chekov but he keeps his hands to himself. Something tells him Pavel needs to make the first move.

"I think I will take a shower," Chekov says finally.

Sulu just nods. He can be patient for Pavel, wait for him to come to Hikaru and tell him what he needs.

Then he feels Pavel's long, slender fingers weave through his, and he realizes he might not have to wait after all. "You will come with me?" Chekov says softly, sounding so much like his sweet Pavel, like he did the first time he asked Sulu to stay the night with him, it makes Hikaru want to cry.

"Yeah, of course," he says instead, and follow Chekov into the bathroom, where they strip off their dirty clothes and step under the hot spray. Pavel pulls Hikaru's arms around him, tucks face against Hikaru's neck, and lets out a shuddery sigh as hot water pounds against the tight muscles of his back and neck. Sulu buries one hand into Pavel's wet curls and just holds tight.

"Hikaru?"

Pavel's voice is barely there.

"Yeah, baby?"

Chekov wraps his arms tighter around Sulu's neck. "Have I – have I ruined them?"

"Have you -" Chekov lets out a choked moan as Sulu tugs him up so he can see what's going on in those dark eyes. "Pavel, I don't even know what you're saying but I can tell you, you haven't ruined anything."

"Leonard – the doctor, and Captain Kirk," Chekov says. "What if they – this was all my fault, Hikaru, what the doctor had to do, and what if they cannot overcome it -"

"Pavel, no -"

Chekov's face crumbles. "You don't understand," he moans, "you don't know, two days before, I gave him a whole speech about how grown-up I am, and how insulting it is people treat me like a child, and then they walked in and grabbed me -" he sobs, his thin chest shaking. "All I could do was cry. And now everything is ruined, because I am an inexperienced child who cannot take care of himself."

"Stop it." Sulu's loud command echoes in the tightness of the shower stall. When Chekov shakes his head, refuses to meet his gaze, Sulu grabs his hair, gives a short tug and forces him to look up. " _Stop it_. You listen to me, Pavel Chekov. You are not a child, and you did nothing wrong. None of this is your fault."

"I should have done something -"

"What, Pavel? What should you have done?" His voice is tight with anger and he shakes Pavel, hard. "You should have let them fuck you? Let them pin you down and tear you open?"

Pavel's brown eyes flare in fear and he gasps out, " _pozhaluysta, nyet_ ," his shaking hands scrambling against Sulu's wet chest. Sulu feels an instant regret for his words and pulls him in close, presses his face in his hair. "Hikaru, please."

"It's okay, it's okay, I'm sorry," Sulu whispers frantically. "I'm sorry. I'm not angry at you, Pavel. I'm angry – I'm furious at them for doing this to you. But please, Pavel, please believe me when I tell you there was nothing you could do to make this any better. All you could do was survive and come home to me."

Chekov sobs into his shoulder but his head nods the slightest bit in understanding. Sulu breathes a little easier, strokes Chekov's back as he murmurs soft apologies into Pavel's hair.

"I just…" Chekov releases a deep, wet sigh. "I just wish I knew they will be okay."

Chekov's earnest concern makes Sulu smile the tiniest bit. "They're stuck together this long, Pavel. I think they're pretty strong. Shit, death couldn't keep them apart." The computer beeps, tells them their water rations are almost gone, and Sulu hits the off-button. "Come on. Let's get you to bed." Chekov lets himself be led from the shower, stands passively as Sulu towels him off and lays him down on the bed, pulls the covers up tight over them both. Hikaru shifts himself closer, guides Pavel over until his head is tucked under Hikaru's chin. He feels hot breath on his neck and allows himself to feel the relief of Pavel's warm, naked body up against his.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you I told the doctor." Pavel's voice is quiet against his neck.

"What – Pavel, you don't have to apologize, I'm not mad." He nuzzles Pavel's ear, kisses the red tip. "I just – why didn't you say something to me? Why didn't you tell me you were scared?" Chekov shakes his head, his curls brushing against Sulu's skin.

"I couldn't. You were already so cautious about us. And I needed – I needed another perspective." He lifts his head and Hikaru can't help himself from dropping a kiss on Pavel's nose. "Some part of me – I needed to know that someone could believe you would want to be with me. That I could make you happy."

Sulu pulls back, a look of horror on his face. "Did I make you think I _wasn't_ happy?"

"No, no, not at all," Chekov soothes, petting Sulu's dark hair until the horror falls away. "No, you've never done anything but make me feel wanted. But I am so inexperienced and I know – you are so patient with me, Hikaru, you never push me to do anything before I'm ready, and there's a part of me that worries you will get tired of the wait and find someone better, someone who can satisfy you."

"There is no one better," Sulu swears, pulling Chekov in closer. "Pavel, there is no one that could satisfy me like you. No one who could make me as happy as you make me." He dips his head down, kisses Pavel softly, then more insistently, and Pavel moans as he deepens the kiss. "I love you, Pavel."

Pavel freezes for a split second and then Hikaru's suddenly flat on his back, arms full of frantic Russian, his face showered with kisses. " _Ya lyublyi tebya_ , Hikaru, I love you too, I have wanted to tell you for so long," Pavel gasps out between kisses, and Hikaru has to laugh from the sheer happiness. "Ai, Hikaru, I love you so much."

"I love you," Hikaru says again, because he doesn't think he'll ever be able to say it enough. He rolls them over, pins Chekov down below him. "I love you, Pavel."

Chekov bites his lip. "Pasha," he says softly, and Sulu's eyebrow quirks up in surprise. "Call me Pasha."

"I thought – I thought you didn't like that." Chekov had told him that one night, no one had called him that since his mother's death, that he hadn't wanted anyone to.

"It is not that I don't like it," Chekov explains. "It is that I only want certain people to call me that. I only want the people I truly love to call me that, and who love me. I love you, and now I know…" he trails off, smiles gently. "Please, Hikaru."

" _Pasha_ ," Hikaru breathes, and Chekov trembles under him. "Pasha, I love you."

" _Ai_ , Hikaru," Pavel whimpers back. "Hikaru, kiss me, please."

Sulu doesn't hesitate, couldn't if he wanted to, just kisses Chekov as if he was the only thing keeping him alive. His hand comes up and cups Pavel's cheek as he teases his tongue against Pavel's, thrusts it in to Pavel's mouth and swallows the moan that comes out. Chekov's short fingernails scratch down his back as Sulu pushes his hips down, brings his thighs up to force Chekov's legs up and apart. Their erections slide together and Sulu's back snaps tight at the sparking sensation the friction sends up his spine. Pavel's head arcs back against the pillow and he moans, wraps his legs around Hikaru's waist, and Hikaru can't help the cry that spills out. His hand finds Pavel's ass and he squeezes the soft flesh, pulls Pavel's leg up higher and thrusts.

" _Oh fuck_ , that's it, baby," he gasps out. Pavel's heavy breathing hitches in his chest, and Sulu knows he's close. "That's it, baby," he whisper in Pavel's ear. "Come for me, Pasha."

Pavel's whole body locks at the diminutive and he howls as he comes hard, warm fluid coating their bellies. The feeling pushes Hikaru over the edge and he digs his hands into the sheets as the orgasm crashes through his body.

" _Yomayo_ ," Pavel yelps out as Hikaru drops down next to him, exhausted, and Hikaru feels the deep laugh bubbling out at Pavel's favorite exclamation.

" _Yomayo_ , indeed," he pants. "Oh, fuck, Pasha, I've missed you. I almost asked Uhura to start speaking Russian to me but then I realized it would be a little creepy. 'Good afternoon, Lieutenant, can you speak Russian to me so I can fantasize about my boyfriend?'." He feels Pavel's laughter against his side. "'And can you lower your voice a little?".

"She would have kicked you out," Chekov wheezes through his laughter. "Or worse, would have stuck Spock on you."

"I'd rather Spock to Uhura."

"Hmmm, true." Pavel lifted up his head, laid his chin on Sulu's chest. He thinks about what he told McCoy, but now, back here, in this bed, he suddenly can't think of any reason he wouldn't want Sulu to know everything about him. "Would you – would you like me to teach you Russian?"

Sulu smiles, looks pleased, maybe a little honored. "Yeah," he says. "I would. I like the idea of speaking with you in your native language."

"Okay," Chekov pulls himself up until he is eye to eye with Sulu. "We will start with the important things. _Potseluy menya_."

" _Potseluy menya_ ," Sulu repeats. "What does that mean?"

Chekov grins. "Kiss me."


	9. Chapter 9

Kirk wakes up a few hours later to an insistent message from Spock.

_Captain, please advise when you will be available to discuss your *excursion* and its effect on our relations with the Tauians._

Kirk can hear Spock's ire through the PADD.

Bones snores on, his body desperate to catch up on sleep. So Jim slides out of the bed, puts on his uniform, and goes to face his first officer.

When he returns, Bones is still asleep, just on the other side of the bed, wrapped around Jim's pillow. Kirk lays down the extra uniform he retrieved from their quarters on the desk chair and sits down on the edge of the bed, lays a soft hand on McCoy's shoulder.

"Bones," he whispers. "Come on, time to wake up, baby."

Bones blinks at him, trying to clear the sleep from his eyes. "You gotta go be captain?" he asks roughly, his accent heavy.

Kirk laughs. "Bones, I've been there, done that. You've been asleep fourteen hours."

"Fourteen hours - " Bones heaves himself up. The clock blinks _1424_ at him. "Oh, shit."

"You needed it." Jim pulls a mug of coffee and a roll seemingly out of nowhere. "You hadn't slept for days."

Bones moans his appreciation as he sinks his teeth into the roll. "What happened with the Tauians?" he asks around a mouthful of bread.

Kirk shrugs. "They're so desperate to keep any kind of good relationship with the Federation that they agreed to submit my _revised_ report."

"Which was?"

"That they received intelligent the hostages were being threatened with violence and asked me to send in a tactical team to intercede." Kirk pauses, gives him a long look. "And that the tactical team found the hostages tired and hungry but unharmed."

The knowledge that his assault would not be part of the official record helped lift some of the weight from McCoy's shoulders, and he breathes a relieved sigh. "Thank you," he says, and Jim nods.

"Can I do anything for you?" he asks quietly.

McCoy looks at him longingly, like he still can't quite believe he's back in this place. "You can kiss me," he offers, and Kirk smiles.

"I can definitely do that," he murmurs. The kiss is soft, demure, because Jim doesn't want to overwhelm Bones, but McCoy makes a discontented noise and pulls him in closer, deepening the kiss. Jim blinks in surprise but pushes Bones back on the bed, covers McCoy's body with his, and takes control, sweeping his tongue against McCoy's lips. Bones moans and submits to him immediately, mouth and legs opening under Kirk. It's wet and perfect and Kirk feels like he's making up for every moment apart from Bones.

"Jim," Bones gasps, tugs on Kirk's shirts, and Kirk leans up to pull them off. Bones is just in sleep pants and he kicks them off as Jim slides off to pull off his boots and socks. Then McCoy is up on his knees, his chest pressed against Jim's back, his breath warm in Jim's ear, and Kirk sucks in a surprised breath as Bones pulls loose the clasp on his pants and his warm hand closes around his erection. "I want you in my mouth," he whispers, and Jim can't help the full-body shiver than overtakes him. He lets Bones push him back down to the bed and pull off his pants and briefs, then grabs him for another kiss.

"Bones," he forces out, because he's so turned on it's painful but there's still something nagging in the back of his mind. "Bones, are you sure? After what happened?"

Bones huffs, kisses him hard. "I'm sure," he assures him. "Please, Jim."

That please does something to Jim and he nods frantically, stroking McCoy's shoulders and hair as he slides down the younger man's body and takes him in his mouth. Jim can't help the shout, the snap of his hips because fuck, it's been way too long since he's felt Bones like this.

Bones closes his eyes, breathes in the perfect smell that is Jim, feels the perfect taste and weight in his mouth. He dips his head lower, feels Jim shudder beneath him, and starts to feel the some of the darkness lift -

\- and then he's hit with a memory of a cold cell, a different smell in his nose, and for a second he flinches. He ducks his head down, tries to hide his reaction, but Jim's not stupid, even this aroused he's completely tuned in to Bones, and McCoy immediately feels hands in his hair, on his shoulders, trying to pull him off.

"Bones. Bones. Baby, wait. _Stop_."

"Jim, I'm fine -"

"You are not fine," Kirk protests, pushing himself on his elbows. "You think I didn't see your face?"

"Jim." He hates how desperate he sounds and he presses his forehead to Jim's stomach, away from the concern in Jim's eyes. He runs his hands up Jim's sides, grabs his hands and weaves their fingers together. "I need this. I need _you_. I need to see you when I close my eyes, not some sadistic son of a bitch."

Jim lets out a ragged moan. "Bones, come here," he pleads, and McCoy drags himself up until Kirk can kiss him properly, ground him back to the bed again. Bones moans impatiently into the kiss, fucks Jim's mouth with his tongue as he grinds his hips down. Jim whimpers beneath him, one foot hooking around his thigh to pull him close.

"Darlin', please," Bones whines into Jim's mouth. " _Please_."

Then Jim's hands are on his face, stroking his hot cheeks, soothing him with soft noises. " _Ssh_ , baby, you don't have to beg," he murmurs and Bones moans in relief. "Not with me. I'll always give you what you need". McCoy nods, a little frantic, and when he snakes his hand down, grips Jim's flagging erection and strokes, Jim doesn't push him away, just arches into the touch. Bones takes this as approval and starts to slide back down. He licks one hard nipple, then the other, and looks up at Jim.

"Just - just talk to me, okay?" he pleads quietly. "Just keeping talking."

Jim strokes his face. "I think that's a first time you ever told me to keep talking," he teases, and Bones gives a little smile.

"Just like that," he says, and dips his head down.

It's awkward at first, because Jim's still hyperaware of Bones's reactions, so he sticks with soft encouragements, _just like that_ and _you feel so good_ , with a few good curses thrown in between. But then Bones relaxes into it, his focus restored, and Jim lets himself just feel, and the words started pouring out without even a conscious thought, a stream of _oh God, Bones, I love you_ and _so fucking perfect, I missed you so much_ and _mine, only mine._ Bones reacts particularly well to the last one, and when he runs a hand down to stroke behind Jim's balls he barely has the chance to say _fuck, Bones, I'm coming_ before he is.

He's still struggling for breath when Bones is there, kissing him, his hardness pressing against Jim's thigh. Kirk turns them on their sides and wraps a hand, slowly, around McCoy's erection. "Tell me what you need," he urges Bones, who kisses him hard.

" _You_ ," Bones breathes against his lips. "Only you. All I ever need is you."

Jim gasps at the thought and kisses Bones, his mouth sliding wetly from his mouth down his jawline, his neck. He speeds up his stroke, finds a rhythm he knows Bones loves, before he sucks hard on the pulsing heartbeat on McCoy's neck.

Bones comes with a cry, his back bowed up high off the bed. Jim strokes his stomach, his thighs, as Bones comes back to himself, then slips away, comes back with a warm washcloth to clean them off.

"Fuck, Jim," he whispers. "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me," Jim chides gently, gets up to throw the cloth in the laundry chute. "You know I'd do anything to help you."

"I know," Bones says, because he does. "Now come here." He pulls Jim back down until he's stretched out next to him. "I'm tired of talking about that damn planet. Tell me what I missed since I've been gone."

Jim shrugs, tells him about his training with Sulu and Scotty's latest back of moonshine - "If you didn't think too hard and followed it with some food it was almost - _almost_ \- drinkable" - and the two lovebirds who'd been caught mid-act in the stellar cartography lab. McCoy rolls his eyes, grumbles about those damn stupid kids and no sense of propriety.

"Uh, Bones, if I'm not mistaken, _we_ had sex in the stellar cartography lab."

"That's different," McCoy huffs. "We have command codes to lock the doors."

"Bridge to the captain. Captain Kirk, come in."

Bones makes a face at Spock's voice, stands up and makes his way to the bathroom as Kirk answers his comm.

"Kirk here. What's up, Spock?"

"You have a call coming in from Starfleet Headquarters, sir. Should I put it through to your quarters?"

"No, I'll take it in my ready room. Give me five minutes and I'll be there. Kirk out."

"Back to work?" Bones asks from the bathroom door.

"Unfortunately. You gonna wander down to the Medbay? See what your staff has been up to?"

"I think I will. You may not have to worry about a mutiny, but didn't think I haven't seen M'Benga eyeing up my office."

Jim laughs. "I always thought he had a crafty look in his eye." He comes around the bed, slides his arms around McCoy's waist. "You gonna be okay?" he asks. Bones smiles, kisses his cheek.

"As long as I've got you, I'm gonna be fine," he says softly.

Jim's smile takes over his whole face. "Just try and get rid of me," he threatens before he lands another kiss and a quick swat to McCoy's bare ass. "See you after shift."

McCoy watches him go, then steps into the shower. The hot water feels like heaven and he stands there under the spray, letting the water wash away the grime of the last eight days. It can't wash away everything, he knows. He reckons he'll be adding a one or two new nightmares to his repertoire. But shit, they had plenty of company. For now, all he could do was go to work, start healing people again. Move forward.

Except there was one more thing he had to do.

He dries off, puts on the clean uniform Jim has left for him. Picks up the PADD laying on the desk and types up a message. He doesn't know if its recipient is awake, but he doesn't need to see it now. McCoy just needs to say it.

Then he walks out and back to his life.


	10. Chapter 10

As it happens, the recipient is awake. Kind of.

Chekov hadn't been lying when he said his mind stops moving with Sulu's touching him. For all his nervous energy down on the planet, he finds himself completely languid now, laying up against Sulu in bed, playing chess on his PADD while Sulu reads a book, a real paper book.

The message light flashes in the corner of the screen.

 _Incoming message from LHMcCoy_ , the PADD tells him.

Chekov sits up straight.

"Pasha?" Sulu's hand is on his back. "Are you all right?"

"I...Dr. McCoy sent me a message." He feels Sulu sit up behind him.

"Did you read it?" Chekov shakes his head. "Do you want me to?"

"No," Chekov says quietly. Whatever the man has to tell him, he can handle it. That's what he tells himself, at least. "I can do it." He clicks it open, takes a deep breath, and starts to read.

_Pavel (I almost wrote kid there, and I didn't. See, I'm learning.) -_

_It feels a little weird writing this instead of just saying it face to face but hopefully you're asleep because God knows you need it, you and Sulu both, and I needed to get some things off my chest before I wade back into the Medbay and see what kind of damage they managed to do while I was gone._

_I'm sorry for how I treated you and what I said. It wasn't right. You weren't responsible for anything that happened down there - neither one of us were. There was nothing we could have done that would have made it any less of a shitstorm that it was. But we're back now, and that's the important part._

_So provided you accept my apology, which you better, because I'm not the type to say sorry twice - I figure we're good, you and me, and we won't need any weird looks or guilty faces, right? And since I can practically hear the question bouncing around that skull of yours, yes, the captain and I are good too, so relax your little Russian heart._

_And while we're on that lovey-dovey shit, we made it back, just like I told you we would, so it's up to you now to tell you-know-who you-know-what. Get on that, Ensign._

_Oh, and tell that engineer on Deck 3 to stop patting you on the head. That shit's downright asinine._

_See you on the bridge, kid._

_Leonard_

Chekov stares at the screen for a few moments. Then he starts to laugh.

"Pavel? You okay?" The worry in Sulu's voice is palpable and it makes Chekov laugh even harder. He shoves the PADD over to Hikaru, who starts off with a warily look but is smiling by the end. "Are we sure this is really from McCoy?" he ask. "I mean, is he capable of being that nice?"

Chekov grins. "No, trust me. It's him."

"Can I ask - who's you-know-who and what's you-know-what?"

"You," Chekov says, turning his smile to Hikaru. "And 'I love you'."

"You told him you loved me?"

Chekov nods. "I was scared, and I didn't know what was going to happen, and I told him if I did not get back, he had to tell you that I loved you." He nuzzles his nose against Hikaru's neck and feels his arms come up around him. "It was almost worse than the thought of dying, the thought of never having told you how I felt."

Hikaru breathes out a soft oh, Pasha and kisses his temple. "Well, I'm sure glad I heard it from you and not him," he says, his voice thick with emotion.

"Hmm," Pavel agrees. "But you must promise you won't tell him you beat me to it, or he will never let me hear the end of it."

Hikaru laughs wetly. "Done."


	11. Chapter 11

It takes a little while, but things return pretty much to normal.

McCoy's nightmares start to spread out from a few times a week, to a few times a month, to only every once in a while, and Jim starts sleeping through the night again. Chekov gets the bounce in his step back, goes back to being the crew's unofficial little brother, except he's the little brother who's gone to war and come back a grown-up now, and people start treating him as such, especially after his now-legendary takedown of a certain condescending engineer. Sulu manages to break the habit of hovering over Chekov he's picked up since his capture, because no one knows better than him that Chekov is a man capable of his own decisions.

It's normal enough that when McCoy and Kirk walk into the mess, McCoy doesn't hesitate before sitting them down with Sulu and Chekov, who are just finishing their lunches.

"I'm surprised to see you out of engineering," Kirk says. They've been running tests on a new drive system and Chekov hasn't been on the bridge for days. The ensign blushes.

"Ah, Hikaru came and got me."

"He hasn't been eating," Sulu says disapprovingly. "He's going to run himself into the ground."

"Sounds like someone else we know," McCoy gripes, and Kirk rolls his eyes. "When are these damn tests going to be over, anyway? If this ship shakes one more time, I'm going to lose my lunch all over the floor."

"We should be done in a day or two, Doctor," Chekov assures him. "After that, we will be back to smooth sailing."

McCoy grumbles something incomprehensible, goes to take a drink of his coffee just as there's the tell-tale sound of power decreasing and the ship gives a shake. The coffee splashes all over McCoy's hand and lap and he drops the mug with a yelp and a loud, " _chyort voz'mi_!"

Sulu's fork clatters to the table.

Jim's face falls into one of complete confusion, as if McCoy's suddenly revealed a tail, or tentacles.

Chekov beams like a proud teacher. "Excellent pronunciation, Doctor!" he praises, and McCoy stops mopping his lap long enough to raise his napkin in acknowledgement.

"Well." Sulu blinks, turns to Kirk. "I guess we know what they talked about down there."


End file.
